eh, i pretty much just got home.. the fireworks at fhs were pretty nice.. hung out w/ joe and jordana.. they're such fun.. dont really wanna keep talking about tonight.. so, i leave for chile on tuesday.. it's kinda funny how tomorrow night is the only night that i dont have at least some kind of plans for. i really wanna go to dc.. but we'll see.. maybe sarah will come with me.. i dont know.. maybe she'll even read that.. but yeah.. i'm kinda bored but i'm also really tired.. i think i'm just updating merely for the fact of updating.. i love summer. no pressure. no stress.. i got a really nice sweater to wear in chile. i've wanted one like it for awhile.. but yeah.. i'm really random.. oh and then tomorrow, i get to open a bank account for myself! i dont know why that makes me so excited. it just does. i'll have a little card that i'll be able to buy stuff with while i'm in chile. so, in case i see something i adore and i have no money to buy it with myself, than i could always just put it on the card. oh, i'm so excited for shopping in chile. too bad i wont actually have anyone to do it with. well... that's debatable.. but i really dont feel like getting into that. actually i think i'm just gonna end up pretty much going to bed now. nighty night.
so, when i opened the door it was garett and mark and so i ended up leaving with them.. and then we went w/ duffy outside to go.. umm.. just chill outside.. so we sat down on some picnic benches and found out some interesting stuff.. but then we went down to the dock.. and there was the regular dock and one that was floating on the water next to it. we sat on the floating one and it was perfect.. and so we uhh.. hung out? there for a little while.. and then we walked back up just past the picnic benches when we ran into these two guys i didnt know but they seemed pretty nice.. so then we just stood there for awhile when garett looks at me and is like, do you wanna go for a walk? and i said definitely b/c that's exactly what i needed right then. so, we walked up to the "tinee giant," the odu version of 7-11. we got drinks and talked to the pretty weird cashier there.. and then.. we sat nearby and just talked for awhile.. until he kinda got to feel sick so we decided to walk back to the dorm. i think all the drinking he did earlier caught up w/ him b/c suddenly he couldnt really walk very well for himself so i held on to his arm.. so then we got into the building and then we went to the 2nd floor. my floor. he thought it was his floor too. but he couldnt get into "his room". so we went to my room where he proceded to take off his shirt and pants and get into my bed in his boxers. then he threw up but decided to pass out in his room. meanwhile, i think i'm doing a fine job of acting all normal to my suitemates and roommate. but as it turns out, i really wasnt.. but whatever.. i dont think they really cared too much. so i went downstairs and got in trouble for "being outside past curfew". but there were other people out there so i thought it was ok. but no. she took down my name. stupid bitch. she said that they would talk to me the next day, which they didnt. but whatever.. ok, so the next day.. woke up way too early.. got my stuff together and walked to the other building..i was sitting w/ sarah, claudia, gerri, and garett (i think?.. if so, he came late..) then we had to choose workshops to go to.. and so for the first one i went w/ garett and sarah to this sports one.. and then i went w/ garett for the 2nd one to financial aid one? not that that mattered AT ALL to me.. but i honestly didnt care. it's not like we didnt talk through the whole thing anyway.. blah blah blah.. the day went on.. i made friends w/ kaitlin who was in my group.. then i chose classes and at the very end, i was sad b/c i never got to say bye to some of the people i got the closest to.. but hopefully when i actually see them at odu we'll still be friends. i hope they dont think i'm too big of a loser then to be friends w/. but claudia laughed at me for saying that.. so.. i'm hoping that that wont be the case. but either way, i just dont know why.. but i had such a good time. it makes me wonder just how things are gonna go when school actually starts.. i had the opportunity to get pretty fucked up at orientation alone.. what the hell is college actually gonna be like?? i can't wait. but yeah.. i realized while i was on the way to the beach that i'm gonna miss so many people so much. it's insane. i'm not as worried about the juniors as i am the people going off to college next year. b/c who knows where they're gonna be next year? like, people going all the way to arizona or cali? it makes me sad. and last week was the first time i realized all this.. but i guess all i can really do is make the best of the time i have.. which i def plan on doing. but yeah.. it's past 2 and i'm super tired.. how will i ever get myself on a normal sleeping schedule?? who knows? but whatever. gnight gnight.
so.. i went to my college orientation.. there were some boring parts but overall i would have to say that i've not ever been this excited for college yet. i met some of the chillest people.. i guess i could through it part by part.. i can't believe how much fun i had.. ok well i got to be there early b/c i did the thingy where you can get there the night before and spend one more night in a room than anyone else.. which actually ended up being quite a smart thing to do... so, i was put in a room by myself and i got so bored that i finally knocked on the door of my suite mates.. they ended up being two really nice girls. this girl sarah from sterling who went to potomac falls or maybe just potomac.. i dont know.. and then there was claudia from mechanicsville. she was super sweet and i hope i get to see her in august.. so then we all started talking and then three guys showed up b/c they were bored like us and wanted to chill w/ more people.. and they were: eric, duffy and jesse. from staunton, college park, and burke. in that order. they were some cool kids.. duffy's got a lot of energy.. jesse's pretty chill and i didnt really talk to eric so much.. but he seemed nice enough.. so then they tried to get us to drink w/ them but knowing that the next morning i would be taking a writing test and a math test made me think that that would be a bad idea.. but yeah.. so the next day i walked down to the main building w/ claudia and sarah and we got to take the tests that sucked.. and then afterwards lunch and then we got split up into our little groups. i was a yellow dot.. which means i was gpa challenged.. which is fine.. at least jesse was a yellow dot too.. and then we got talked to a lot.. and then the new people checked into their dorms. right around this time i met mark and garett (dont really know how to spell that one..). they're both cuties.. so then i got to talking to garett and we walked back to the other building to be talked to some more.. and then we got to come back. and then when i got back to my room, soon after there was a knock at the door.... i'll finish tomorrow.. i really should go. goodnight.
well.. i just got home today from my lovely lovely week at the beach. i love bethany so much. i've realized that no matter how many beaches i go to bethany just feels so comfortable. i love it there. when i think of the beach, that's it. i love garfield plaza, i love the hermit crabs i see, i love the little bakery, i love the mini grocery store, i love the 5 & 10 store, i just love it all. i love visiting rehobeth too. i need to go back before summer's over. the beach almost completes me. it was nice to just have a week to de-stress. well, almost. there were a couple family fights.... my mom can be a raging bitch sometimes.. and my sis can get a little edgy sometimes.. and i can be grump. but, tia always tried to stay nice. i dont know if she felt it all the time but it was a good example for me. what i think really was good was all that time just laying out and even taking walks on the beach. it gave me time to just think about so many things. like think about all the possibilities of what my roommate next year could be like.. which can make me kinda nervous. i really hope i like her. i really hope we'll get along and that decorating will be fun for us and not a huge big argument. but i dont think i'm too picky. i just know kinda what i want already.. which can lead to some disappointment. but anyway... while i was shopping in rehobeth, i saw the funniest shirt that made my sister and i laugh so hard.. "i'm just too much princess for one boy." it was a very gay area. i actually kinda liked that. i know it sounds mean, but it made me laugh. there were just some men that were just so obviously gay. but seriously, it's not like i care at all. whatever makes people happy (gay, haha). i mean, if you're not attracted to a certain sex, that's your choice. personally, i know for a fact that i'm heterosexual. yeah.. moving on... tomorrow i leave AGAIN but this time for orientation for ODU. i'm kinda excited/nervous.. i hope i meet tons of people i'm actually gonna wanna hang out w/ when school starts so i dont feel sooo alone. i mean, meghan's gonna be going there but she's got... other people that will probably occupy her time more... but yeah.. so.. i guess since i seem to be doing a pretty complete update i will talk about tonight too.. tonight.. we had a bbq at home w/ my sis, mom, dad, bro, sis in law and then maria came over later.. and then i talked w/ maria a bit.. and then we went to starbucks and then to kris's house.. and then she went home and i hung out w/ sarah and joel and brad.. i love sarah. she seriously has to be one of my favorite people. but then again, i think i have a lot. but all with different favorite qualities. on the way home with my sister we had a pretty good talk and i think that over the week and throughout the talk (and even later in my talks w/ maria..) i think i have a better idea of the person i want to be.. there are so many qualities that i love in other people and i just hope that i have them too. and i think i realize more that so many things that i take for granted in certain people, like my sis, dont come so easy to them all the time. they have to work to be the way they are. i dont think i do that as often as i should. and i think when i can, i'll be a better person for it. but it is way way too late and time for me to go to bed for orientation tomorrow. goodnight.
i am oh so very bored. and when i say that i think of this song i used to love that said, "well if you're bored then you're boring." and this just might be true. although i can come up with at least a few reasons why this isnt necessarily true. but anyway... i love summer. it's just so... refreshing.. it's a much needed break. one of the pluses of being a senior, i've had summer since last week. it's beautiful. but since it's summer, and a very busy one for me, i just feel like i shouldnt have to do anything, that i should just relax and not stress. b/c stress was all i did all school year. even though i probably didnt enough school-wise. but i have so much i still feel like is hanging over my head. there are so many things that i have on my daily little "to do list." and it feels like i never finish them. but hopefully it'll be better after tomorrow. actually, today. today i graduate. graduate and be done with high school. forever. i'm just so thankful that i've made it this far. i'm going to college. i have orientation in less than two weeks. i'll finally be out of this retarded little town. i think that once you make it out of fairfax, you can really do things with your life. but i think if you try and stay here and and try from here to do well in the future... well, i just dont know how easy that is. i think that you just need to get away. at least i know i do. i just dont understand how someone's ambitions could be met by fairfax. but then again, i've spent my whole life here. i just dont think that any more time here would be healthy for me. norfolk here i come! speaking of odu, i have an odu email address now.. (i still have and use my old one too, though..) but it's - firstname.lastname@example.org which is actually kinda retarded looking but it's a college email address and it's mine. well maybe i should talk about some events that have recently occured... i dont really want to though. so i'll pick and choose what i'm gonna share. i ended up going to prom. mukai took me. i decided i wanted to go the day before prom... so, that night i went to fair oaks and potomac mills and i tried on millions of dresses. but i found 3 maybe's. the next day i got my nails done w/ sarah and went back to fair oaks w/ my mom. fell in love w/ one of the 3 and bought it. (not cheap, that's for sure). so while at the mall i look for shoes.. i find shoes. while i'm working that out, my mom goes and buys a boughteneer.. the flowers you pin to the jacket.. i dont know how to spell it (or say it for that matter). and then she goes to the clinique counter at hecht's and asks if they'll do my make-up. they tell her that if you buy $35 of clinique products or more, you can get a free make over. so, we do just that. so, when i get home, my mom does my hair and i'm pretty much all set. and i feel like i would have looked just as good having a month to prepare or two days. i love my dress. i got compliments on it. which i greatly appreciated. i met at sarah's house w/ murphy and mukai and we took pictures and then went to arro's house where the dinner group got together. the group was: sarah and murphy, kacie and andrew, marie and jan, arro and her boyfriend, marina and ricky, rama and rana, and mukai and myself. it was a very entertaining group. and then b/c we saw it on the way to dinner... after dinner, i went w/ mukai and sarah to the mvc.. midnight video club.. it was funny. i bought flavored lube. i needed to get something for jill. i just had to. anyway.. then we went to the dance. and then i went to sarah's sister's apartment afterwards. all in all, a memorable night. there are so many other details and funny stories and whatnot that i didnt include... but i had a good time. and i was glad that maria stopped by before i left for sarah's. ok well i guess that's all recently that i'd like to share at the moment. for the time being, i'm just looking forward to my week at the beach where all i will do is laze on the sand and enjoy cokes, tuna fish sandwiches, and nectarines. it's going to be great. i'll write later.
eh.. i dunno.. recently i just dont know what to think anymore. i honestly feel like an entirely different person than i ever have been before. maybe it's because it's almost summer and i'm almost done with high school forever or maybe it's something entirely different. i just dont know. and i honestly dont care. just as long as the people i care about still care about me. that's all that seems to matter to me anymore. i keep thinking about how much i wanna establish a good relationship with my mom before i go to college that way i can just pick up the phone and call her and i know she'll be there for me.. funny thing is, i think she's currently kinda pissed at me. i told her that i'm going to get my eyebrow pierced and she was like, you had better wait until after you graduate from college to do that! and all this stuff. and i was just like, mom, i wasn't asking you, i was telling you. and then she threatened not to pay for college for me and all this stuff. i really dont care. i could take out loans and all that crap. i really dont care. i dont know. nothing really matters so much anymore. i mean, i plan on working... so.. i'll pay it off eventually? sure sure. eh whatever. so there is someone i'm a little worried about.. she told about how she's super depressed and it makes me sad to hear about it. it's someone i care for a lot and i hope she knows that i would do anything for her. anything at all that would make her feel better. but yeah.. it's getting late.. oh someone remind me to tell you about what happened w/ court today b/c i really dont feel like typing it up. but i thank my lawyer for everything that happened b/c he was the one who was really doing all the work. he saved everyone. i will be forever grateful. ok nighty night.
yeah nothing really new.. i would say same old same old, but nothing's the same anymore. i got a little bit nostalgic thinking about the "good old" times.. they werent really that great but i remembered then and kinda missed them. then i fell asleep and didnt really care anymore. but yeah.. it was cool talking to my sis when she came home. i feel like she's changed sooo much but is still so much the same. i love spending time w/ her b/c she always seems to have so much insight having just been through exactly what i'm about to go through. and she has perspective on it all. so then.. i went to the fairfax fair w/ jordana and met up w/ binh and joe.. the haunted house was soooo scary.. (actually not even the slightest bit..) i wish we couldve gone on more rides and whatnot but it was a good time just the same. and then saturday really sucked.. but i did love how i got to be the fashion coordinator of the evening for my sis and kelly. they looked so good! my sis was so hung over this morning though.. it was funny. they didnt get home til late either b/c i went to bed at like.. 2 something maybe even 3.. i dont remember but they werent even home then. so i talked to two people last night and i feel like i better understand why i do some of the little things that i always do.. or the things that i really want and the reasoning behind them.. i dont know.. it's hard to explain b/c i really dont want to go into specifics. but let me just say that i have some good friends that give good advice and sometimes i really should just listen to them. and i should also just look around and try to understand why i'm doing the things i do. b/c if i had given certain situations more thought, i really could have done things differently and made them much more beneficial to myself. (and i'm not talking about my legal troubles..) (or drugs). well it was a long day of stupid (and not so stupid) shopping.. so i think i'm gonna get some sleep or least try to.. ONLY 5 MORE DAYS OF HIGH SCHOOL LEFT FOREVER!!!!